Can You Really Find Love Again?
by SalazarRiddle
Summary: After an accident almost takes a life, can a couple once in love find their way back to one another, or have the years hardened them both so much that it is impossible? A Lucius/Narcissa fic.
1. Default Chapter

Title: Can You Really Ever Find Love Again?

Author: Salazarriddle

Keywords: Lucius, Narcissa, Malfoy

Rating: R

Summary: After an accident can a estranged couple find their way back to one another or have the years cause irreparable damage

Author's Note: Please leave a review. It helps me feed my little pet muse Lucius.

Disclaimer: The only thing that is mine is the storylines everything else belongs to  JK Rowling and others who own Harry Potter

Chapter 1- Finding Out

Lucius tapped his long slender fingers in annoyance on the sturdy oak table he was sitting at. "Where is that woman?" he asked no one in particular, with an exaggerated sigh. "Honestly, if she says she is going to be here at five o'clock, she should be here!" Lucius said, before downing a glass of vodka in one gulp. His cold grey eyes looked up at the clock on the wall that read twenty minutes past five. "And at this Muggle establishment to boot. What could Narcissa be thinking?" the Death Eater huffed as he ordered another drink. 

The clock ticked by. "What news could be so important that she could not tell me at the manor?" Lucius ordered yet another drink and downed it in one gulp. Finally he saw the unmistakable figure with blond hair walk into the restaurant.  "It is about bloody time," he murmured to himself as his wife approached. "Narcissa, darling there you are." Lucius sneered. 

"Pleasant as always, Lucius," Narcissa replied in the same tone . The man in front of her now was a far cry from the man she had married over sixteen years ago. They looked the same, though the man in front of her was older. They sounded the same, but — this man was colder. He had no emotions.

Lucius scowled at his wife, "I am not the one who is twenty minutes late." Lucius had not even bothered to rise when Narcissa showed up. She was not worth it anymore.

"I had an appointment." Narcissa replied simply as she slung her bag over the back of the chair. Lucius had no idea what her appointment was for. It was a secret she had been keeping from him for some months now. Sometimes Narcissa wondered how daft Lucius was at times not to realize what she was hiding. They shared a bed every night; if you could call it sharing. Narcissa would be asleep long before Lucius even came to bed, and he would be awake long before Narcissa even stirred in the morning. So perhaps Lucius was not that daft after all.

Lucius let out a long sigh, knowing that his wife wanted him to question her about her appointment. "What kind of appointment, my darling?" he asked, playing along.

Narcissa smirked . She thought it was time to let Lucius in on her little secret. "A doctor's appointment." Narcissa watched her husband's lips begin to curl into a sneer. "I am not dying, if that is what you are thinking," she said flatly as she began to take off her coat. 

Narcissa gently hung the coat over the back of her chair and it became obvious to Lucius why his wife was under the care of a doctor. His jaw dropped slightly in an undignified manner. For the first time in his life Lucius Malfoy was speechless.  "Speechless? Now that is a first." Narcissa let a coy smile creep onto her lips.

Lucius had to gulp down his fourth vodka on the rocks before he was able to regain the use of his voice. "So who is the unfortunate soul responsible for impregnating you?" the man said, eyeing his wife's expanded belly very closely.

Narcissa slid into a seat as gracefully as any woman who was six months pregnant could. "Very subtle, dear," she said bitterly. "Despite whatever thoughts you have in that lovely twisted mind of yours, I have never once strayed from our marriage vows… and I know for a fact you have never strayed either," Narcissa said smugly.

Lucius looked as if he was about to make another of his snide remarks, but something stopped him. "If that were true, then how are you with child?"

"You were drunk," she said flatly. "Those horrible drinks," her lip curled at the empty glass in front of her husband. "How many does that make tonight, Lucius?"

Lucius shot Narcissa an evil glare, "My drinking habits are none of your concern." The words dripped off his tongue with disdain. He wondered briefly how they had grown to loathe each other so much. Lucius had loved Narcissa once, but now they were like separate entities that co-existed in the same dwelling only acknowledging one another long enough to bicker. It had become a routine that both had grown so used to, that bickering was as easy as breathing. 

Narcissa frowned somewhat worriedly at Lucius, "No doubt one too many, naturally." She was unexpectedly worried about him. The pregnant woman caught a hint of sadness deep within her husband's eyes. It had been there for quite a while, but she by no means thought it sensible to bring it up. It was much simpler to quarrel with Lucius than to have any other sort of conversation with him.

"One too many according to whom?" Lucius asked with a roll of his eyes as he swirled the ice around the empty glass. Perhaps somewhere deep inside the crevices of his mind Lucius did remember that night, as he had a vague recollection of waking up the next morning holding his wife's exposed body in his arms. Lucius was also naked, but he had just pushed it out of his mind as being part of a drunken memory. A memory of the past where every morning the married couple would wake in each other's arms. A memory of a much simpler, a much happier time. "I concede that it is possible that something happened that night," Lucius fought to say, but then quickly covered. "Though I would need proof that something did indeed happen that night to take this ludicrous claim of yours seriously."

Narcissa shook her head," You know the sad thing is I should be shocked that you would say something like that, but I am not shocked You are just too much of a fool to believe what is right in front of you," she huffed as she stood up and grabbed her coat.

"Where do you think you are going?" Lucius asked, pushing back the chair he was seated in and stood up. "We are not done talking!"

"I am not doing to deal with you when you are being an insufferable prat." Narcissa turned on her heel and began to leave but she was wrenched back by Lucius' hand on her arm. "Get your hands off me now, Lucius," she said, her temper flaring to new degrees as she shoved Lucius away.

"I would never sleep with you willingly," Lucius said, coming up with a new angle to blame Narcissa for the situation. "So tell me, what did you do to me?" he was still in denial that Lucius Malfoy could have had a weak moment while drunk.

Narcissa refused to listen to his insults. She had gotten used to tuning him out once the insults got to be too much. This was one of those moments. 

The couple walked out of the restaurant, Lucius still ranting, making all sorts of accusations as to how Narcissa really got pregnant. After ten minutes of this, Narcissa finally had enough and slapped Lucius hard across the face. Lucius stood stock still, unsure whether he should be angry or stunned that his wife had just slapped him.

"Stop being a prat for five minutes and really think about that night. We made this child together. Maybe it would have been better if I had never told you. I was a bloody idiot to think you would actually be happy about this," Narcissa fumed as she backed away from her husband . She had not even realised that in her tirade, she had ended up in the street. 

By the time Narcissa saw the lorry speeding down the street, it was too late. She felt nothing as her body was thrown into the air and landed on the cold ground with a thud. Lucius ran over to check on Narcissa. It was more of an impulse he had no idea where it came from.  The husband checked to see if his wife was alive, She was alive, but barely. 

Lucius took out his wand and tried the few healing spells he knew, but none of them worked. He was about to curse the driver of the lorry for taking off when he heard a voice echo in his head. "Mark my words, Lucius, you keep this up and one day you will have her blood on your hands." The voice belonged to Narcissa's father. It was his little warning to Lucius on his wedding day. Sure enough, when Lucius looked down, his hands were covered in his wife's blood. That warning from his father-in-law repeated itself over and over, and Lucius stared at his hands as he sank to the ground on his knees. He remained frozen staring at Narcissa for what seemed like an eternity. Lucius barely heard the sound of the approaching ambulances when they began to arrive almost ten minutes later.****

"Her blood on my hands," Lucius muttered to himself in disbelief.


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Can You Really Find Love Again? Chapter 2

Author: Salazarriddle

Keywords: Lucius, Narcissa, Malfoy

Rating: R

Summary: After an accident can a estranged couple find their way back to one another or have the years cause irreparable damage

Author's Note: Please leave a review. It helps me feed my little pet muse Lucius.

Disclaimer: The only thing that is mine is the storylines everything else belongs to JK Rowling and others who own Harry Potter

Chapter 2

Lucius sat stone-faced in the hard plastic chair that was located in the hospital waiting room. He was not used to being in any hospital for reasons outside of business and this was a _muggle_ hospital, which only served to make the husband even more worried. There could be no simple fix to correct the injuries his wife had and there was no way to get her to St. Mungos as Apparating with an unconscious person was very risky.  Being forced to do nothing only increased Lucius' agitation. The frustrated man looked down at his hands which were covered in the now dried blood of his wife. Lucius stared at his hands in a shocked state of awe. In all his years of torturing muggles and mudbloods the Death Eater had never literally gotten a drop of blood on his hands. He was always at a safe distance in his methods**-- **psychologicalpain was his specialty, he let others do the dirty work. And now, the sight of someone's blood on his hands was a jarring thought. The fact that it was his wife's blood made the feeling in the pit of his stomach only worse. 

"She is nothing to you Lucius. Get over this. Why are you still here waiting?" the man  talked to himself. He glanced up at the clock and saw that it was almost eight o'clock. It has been close to two hours that Lucius had been sitting in the room without a word from any of the doctors. "I do not care if she is dead. She deserves to be dead for this!" the male Malfoy hit his fist against the wall in an out-of-character moment. Deep inside Lucius knew why he was still here but he would never let himself outwardly express those feelings. It would be unbecoming of a Malfoy to act on such feelings. "I was an idiot all those years ago to let feelings like that rule my life," Lucius hissed as he got some strange looks from another man who had just entered the waiting room. "What do you think you are looking at?" the blond hissed through his teeth before storming out of the waiting room. Lucius did not know what to do with himself, he was helplessly lost. No magic could be used to get him out of horrible situation. The man passed about the corridors of the hospital waiting for any word. "Those lousy good for nothingmuggle_s__--_ they have found the perfect way to torture me…. Keeping me in the dark." Lucius paused when he realized he was outside the hospital. 

Rain was now pouring down from the sky and it took only a moment for Lucius to be completely drenched**--**he soon looked very much  like a drowned rat. He looked at the blood that was running off of his hands and it made the man feel as his wife was slipping away from him, just as the traces of blood mixed with the water and dripped from his fingers, leaving them clean. "No more blood on my hands," Lucius murmured in astonishment as he headed back into the hospital. He was almost stopped immediately by one of the doctors. 

"Mr. Malfoy, we have been looking for you. We have news about your wife**,**" the young doctor addressed the obviously distressed-looking pale gentleman.****

"What is it?" he asked in a short snappy tone, quite nonchalantly pulling uncommonly long tendrils of soaked hair out from his eyes and flipping them back behind his ears, before fixing the doctor with a piercing stare.

"She is out of surger**y,"** the doctor started off slowly. "But there was extensive trauma to the head. It is too early to tell how your wife will recover." The doctor paused for another long moment. "There was also severe injury to her abdominal region and we had to deliver the baby, " the man paused again. There was obvious distress in the voice and composure of the man. He did not know how to word what would come next. "Things do not look good for your daughter. Under most conditions babies born at twenty-three weeks' gestation do not hold a high survival rate, and the injures sustained in the accident make the chance for survival even lower. We will know more when we can evaluate the extent of the complications from the accident. Currently she is being set up in NICU. Once she is set up there**, **and further evaluated, we will let you in to see her. I must warn you she is very small and she will be hooked up to many machines. You will be able see your wife once she is moved out of recovery and moved to ICU." The doctor looked over at Lucius unable to gather his reaction to any of the news. "Are there any questions you have?" he asked, hoping that would get the man to talk.

The new father did not know what to make of all this information. The one thing that registered clearly at first was that he had a daughter. Worry and fear began to seep in as Lucius began to process the rest of the doctor's words. Things definitely did not look good for the small child and they were not much better for his wife. "I will find you if I need anything." 

With that said Lucius wandered off from the doctor. His thoughts were completely on the small child that was born way too soon. Regret was seeping in as he recalled the argument he had with Narcissa over the child, and it was that argument that caused her to run into the street and be hit by that lorry. "Stop it," Lucius berated himself aloud. "Malfoys do not feel regret. She is to blame for this. You did nothing wrong." He hoped saying the words aloud would change the feelings inside, but it was not working.

Another thought dawned on Lucius… Draco. How was he going to break this news to his son? The child who was alive and well. The child who was off at school. The boy always favoured his mother. Lucius had not a clue how to break the news to the boy. 

After another hour of wandering Lucius managed to sit and write a letter to Draco explaining the situation leaving out any part about the baby. After sending the letter off via owl Lucius headed back into the hospital. Finding himself near the NICU, Lucius looked though the glass of the room and saw a team of doctors working over one of the small incubators. From their movements and expressions Lucius could tell they were trying to save the child. Then Lucius caught a glimpse of the card on the incubator. It was pink and it held the name Malfoy. This was his daughter they were fighting to save. His heart fell into his stomach as he watch almost entranced as they worked feverishly waiting for a sign they had been successful.


	3. Saying Goodbye

Title: Can You Really Ever Find Love Again? Chapter 3/?

Author: Salazarriddle

Keywords: Lucius, Narcissa, Malfoy

Rating: R

Summary: After an accident can a estranged couple find their way back to one another or have the years cause irreparable damage

Author's Note: Please leave a review. It helps me feed my little pet muse Lucius. 

First thanks goes out to those reading this story. Sorry it has been slow going, but the pace will pick up soon.

Next , and biggest thanks goes out to Kate for beating this chapter and picked out all the little mistakes only to make this chapter even better.

Now to Wynne and Sarah for helping with naming Echo. If it were not for you I would still be stuck on thinking of a name.

And finally a collective thanks to Kate, Wynne and Sarah  for their words of encouragement on my Malfoy writings.

Disclaimer: The only thing that is mine is the storylines everything else belongs to JK Rowling and others who own Harry Potter

Chapter 3- Saying Goodbye 

The following few days were the most excruciating of Lucius' life. Sitting in from of the tiny incubator for as long as the doctor would allow, Lucius watched the tiny girl struggle to hold onto life. He found it quite amazing how something so tiny had so much fight in her. But Lucius had to remind himself that she was a Malfoy and of course she was a natural born fighter. The desperate father was thinking of countless ways to help the fragile newborn. He knew magic could only go so far and it would be useless in this situation. Even if Lucius could get the best medi-wizard in the hospital he would be able to do no more than the Muggle doctors were doing right now.

Lucius was heading back into NICU after being forced to get something to eat but the nurses. It was not easy to get the man away from his tiny daughter, but the nurses had threatened to bar him from seeing her. The tall man doubted they could really do it, but he did not even want to take the chance with there being a remote possibility that they would be able to pull something like that off. Just as the elder Malfoy was about to enter, the doctor that had been in charge of his daughter's case pulled him aside. The ominous look on the man face signalled that the news had to be far from good.

Lucius looked square at the doctor, not letting his Malfoy arrogance fail him at a time like this. "Is this about Echo?" he asked, his lip stiffing at the possibilities that laid before him as a response. Echo was the name Lucius had chosen for his daughter. The name was rather fitting in Lucius mind. The myth of Echo and Narcissus reflected the situation in Lucius' mind. The small girl was like a tiny echo of her mother. The small girl was like a tiny echo of her mother as they both struggled to survive. 

The doctor gave Lucius a grim nod, "Yes I am afraid it is. Echo's latest test results were not good… not good at  all." He paused before trying to make the next words out of his mouth as gentle as possible. "Echo's heart is failing. There is nothing else we can do for her. She was just too weak from the accident."

Lucius felt as if some had cast Crucio on him a thousand times, and  his exterior poise was faltering. The aloofness of his Malfoy outer surface was crumbling even as  Lucius fought to hold on to it. "There has to be something. There always has to be something you can do," his voice was shaky with raw emotion, but yet was fighting to sound authoritative. 

"No, I am sorry Mr. Malfoy. We have done all we can do for Echo. She is not strong enough to survive surgery. I'm sorry, but there is nothing else we can do." the doctor tried to reach out to put a hand of Lucius' shoulder, but he threw the doctor's hand off forcefully.

The father swallowed the large lump that had formed in his throat. "How much time does she have left?" the half broken man asked,  refusing to have his eyes meet those of the doctor's.

The man's eyes closed. "We do not know. It can be hours, a day at the most." The reply was short and bittersweet. "If you would like, I can take you in to see Echo so you can hold her." Lucius did not even need to respond, a nod of his head was all the reply the doctor needed.  

The short walk to the incubator seemed like an eternity, each step growing increasingly  louder in his ears until no other sound could be heard. Lucius felt liked a death row inmate walking to his impending doom, only he was not the one that was going to be dying. His innocent child was. One who had never gotten to know the world outside the incubator that had helped to keep her alive all these days.  Lucius was going to live. The far from innocent one. The man who had taken the lives and souls of many. The man who had never really paid for his crime (except for the two month stint in Azkaban the previous year), but now was facing the ultimate punishment. A child he had never gotten to know was about to be taken away from him with no hope of ever getting her back. 

Standing in front of the incubator Lucius heart simply fell to the floor. This time was different from all the other times he had visited the small infant. This time he was here to say his final goodbye.  One of the nurses pulled over a rocking chair next to the machine and asked Lucius to sit. Not usually one to take orders from people he saw as inferior, the man still sat. He watched carefully as the woman open up the incubator and very gingerly lift the child out of the place that had been her home since birth.

The father stared in awe as the tiny girl was put into his arms. Echo was almost small enough to fit into one of her father's hands. Lucius missed the opportunity to be there for Draco's birth, he had been too busy with Death Eater tasks to even see his son in the hospital. It was heart wrenching to know Narcissa did not have the chance to spend anytime with Echo.

Lucius could not take his eyes off the girl in his arms. Even still hooked up to the machines, she was the most beautiful sight he had ever seen.

"There is so much I wish to tell you, but I have such little time to say it. Many people would say I deserve something like this, but my Little One, no one deserves to lose such a precious little angel no matter what they have done. I have done countless things that people would consider evil; yes I have tortured people and killed them just because of their birth. They are the same people who fought so hard to help you survive,  and yet they have failed you." Lucius paused as the lump tightened in his throat. Taking the minuscule hand in his, Lucius lowered his head and gently kissed hers. "If I knew how to help you I would have, but even magic cannot heal everything." Again, a pause to steady emotions. It still was  difficult to show such raw emotion even in a tender situation. Lucius look down at the small tuft of blonde hair from the delicate head that rested on his arm. "You know, my Little One, I did not know about you until recently. You mum and I do not get along much anymore. We used to get alone along quite well, in fact we used to be inseparable. We were very much in love a long time ago. Now, I don't think either of us knows the meaning of the word. Some people do not blame her for not telling me she as was going to have you. I had some problems a while back. I was a very angry and bitter person." Lucius paused again this time to kiss the small child's forehead. The tiny creature had this tight hold on his heart that he did not want to give up. "You see, my tiny Echo, I was in prison for a bit last year. I see now they were terrible things I did. At the time I did not think they were so horrible, I was not taught any better. I thought what I did was right since it was what I was taught as a small lad. But now seeing you I would not have wanted you to grow up like I did. You could have been my saving grace, but I am not meant to be redeemed."

The teary-eyed Malfoy looked down at Echo. "I know you are not understanding a word I am saying, but I have no one else to tell these things," he said with a slight chuckle. "I bet you are wondering why I gave you such an odd name like Echo. It is more than just a family tradition to do so. Your brother, his name is Draco, another odd name." The father paused as the child began to make small gasps in her attempt to breathe. Now the realization of just how little time he had left with the little angel was hitting hard. Lucius let a few tears roll down his cheeks. "Even now you look incredibly like your mum. The connection goes much deeper than that, though. You are part of her, just as you are part of me. Created out of love. A love that is buried so deep, but a love that is still there. You both are delicate little flowers. Just like the narcissus whose fate it is to fade a way. Just as the Echo in the myth of Narcissus you to will made, but yet lives on though the words of others. That will be your legacy." Lucius knew he contorted the myth some. It still made for a powerful statement.

Echo's breath grew shallower as the life was beginning to drain from her body. Then a peaceful look came upon the small face. One could even interpret the look as a smile. The tiny hand reached up and grasped Lucius hair. It was at that moment life passed from the child, and the monitors gave the signal that there was nothing more that could be done.  

"Goodbye, Echo Lillith Malfoy," Lucius said in a distraught voice as he choked back a sob. His saving grace was gone now.


End file.
